|As you can see, the candles are not lit. She had to reenact blowing out the candles because I missed the shot!|
What has been on my mind quite a bit, though, since then, is how hard it is to believe that I have a thirty year old child. Really. I can hardly believe it! But, it really has been thirty whole years. And looking through her pictures and putting them in order, by year, confirmed it. And made me realize (or, rather, re-realize) what an amazing girl, woman, wife, mom, sister, daughter, grand daughter and niece she has been, has become and IS. And how much I look forward to spending the next thirty years watching her become even more. I'm a very proud mom, can you tell? And this is just about one child! Just watch out when I start talking about all three of them!
So, having this thirty year old child can mean only one thing. I'm not young any more. And you know what? I couldn't care less. Or, maybe I should say, I care less and less as the years go by. That's probably more accurate! One thing that makes me feel better about aging is the video below. I came across it a couple of years ago and whenever I'm feeling kind of down or depressed about getting older, I try to think of it. Who would not want their "old age" or their "golden years" to look like this?
When I watch it I understand that there is something to look forward to as your years progress. Sure, you don't look, feel or think the way you used to. But I actually think that might be a good thing.
In my youth (meaning 40 and under) I remember being obsessed with the way I looked, always feeling uneasy and restless-like I should be doing "more", and always dwelling on the past or worried about the future. I am finally feeling like I'm learning to live in the present. Yes, I still worry (about my looks, about the past, about the future,etc.) but it certainly is not consuming me. And that is such a good thing. Because now, instead of worrying about things I can't control, I find myself wondering how I will be remembered by my kids and my grand kids. And this is something I at least have some control over. Because I know it's possible to teach by example. Yes, I know my kids will remember the young mother who worried a lot and lost her patience a lot. But I also know they will remember the mother who listened to them a lot, talked to them a lot and cared for them a lot. And as I get older and wiser, I am better able to think ahead and plan a little. So, I've made a short, "leaving my legacy" wish list, inspired by this post.
I hope to teach by example:
1) the value of living in the moment 2) the value of living and having a healthy lifestyle 3) the value of being satisfied with simple things and 4) the value of being creative and making things with their own two hands. Yep. Those are my wishes. Oh, and 5) the value in living in a tiny shack/cottage, doing yoga outside and growing and cooking your own food :) That's it.
Have a great, remaining, Merry Monday :) Juli