Thursday, August 14, 2014

Blogger challenge, The End!, 8.14.14

It's the end of the blogger challenge! I've grouped these last topics together, because, well, they just go together. #24- A difficult time in my life, #28- The last time I cried and #27- what makes me feel better-always. One just kind of flows into the next. So, they became a group :)

Starting with #24- A difficult time in my life. Well, for those of you who have followed this blog for any length of time, you know the answer to that. (For those of you who are new to the blog, see this post.) So, I'm not going to re-hash it again. But what I really haven't written about (I don't think?) here is my divorce. That would be the next most difficult time in my life.

I won't go into too much detail here, but I've made it a point, since my divorce, to tell anyone who is going through or thinking that they may be going through a separation or divorce, to stop. Wait. Try harder. Then try even harder. And when you get advice from someone who has already been through what you are about to go through- listen. If someone else gives you the same advice- listen again.  (If it still doesn't work out, then at least you know you gave it every ounce of your effort.) Divorce, ESPECIALLY if you have kids, SUCKS.  For everyone involved. In my first marriage, I didn't try hard enough. I took an easy out. Except, what I didn't know then, is that it really wasn't going to be "easy" at all. Lesson learned, yes. But at my children's expense. It's not easy to live with that. So, I'm hoping that over the years my advice has been taken by a least one person and that at least one family was saved. That's how I deal with it, anyway. I can only hope.

Okay, moving on...the last time I cried. I have to say, I have really never been a big crier. But over the last three years, I feel like I've made up for a lifetime of crying. And I'm not talking about a little tear here and there or crying at the end of a sad movie. I'm talking about an uncontrollable cry that comes from a place so deep inside your gut that it feels like it is being ripped out of you (when we lost Ruben J) and another kind of cry that comes out of nowhere and lasts for hours (when I missed Eddie's first call home from Basic Training) and yet another kind of intense cry that comes from a place of relief and happiness (when I finally did get a call from Eddie). Too much loss and change at one time for me, for sure.  It was very overwhelming. The last time that I cried, though, was for a student who was killed in an accident in 2012. Although I had become closer to her than some of my other students, I still only knew her on the teacher/student level, so I was kind of surprised by my reaction. I guess, though, once those floodgates opened, it was all over with. And, so, I guess I have now become a bit of a crier. And, that's okay :)

Oh, my. This is a bit of a downer blog post, isn't it?! Well, lets move onto a lighter subject....

What makes me feel better, always? I bet you can guess! Yep, it's my kids. Whether it is Eddie doing one of his impressions or poking fun at my (imaginary!) lisp, or Little Man telling me not to worry and to live in the moment, or Sister being the patient, attentive, non-judgmental  listener that she is, they ALWAYS make me feel better, no matter what.
Have a great day! And stay tuned... I'm working on re-stocking at Blumenhof. The pouches, bibs and onesies all sold in the past, so I'll be working on those first. I'm also planning some small paintings and fiber wall hangings with a wine theme. I'll keep you posted!    Juli

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