Monday, January 25, 2016

On Angels, 1.25.2016

If you have been reading this blog for a while now, you know that I'm not a religious person. But I do have my own, very personal, beliefs about life and death. And one of those beliefs is that when a person leaves this world, they leave behind an energy.  Whether that is their actual, physical energy or an energy left behind in the people they affected while they were here, it doesn't really matter. All I know is that it is one of my truths, as I have personally experienced this phenomenon many times, especially over the last few years. So many times, in fact, that I can't just disregard it, blow it off  and call it "coincidence". But, I never really had another explanation or name for it, until now.

Ten days ago,  close members of our family experienced an unimaginable loss- the loss of their perfect, beautiful, newborn baby boy. I never had the chance or privilege of meeting this little boy, but since the news of his death, his family is all I seem to be able to focus on.  Sister had the best words for what I (and, I'm sure, the rest of my family) was feeling when she told me that her "heart was hurting so much for them". Perfect description. Since that day, by focusing on them and the pain they were experiencing, my problems suddenly seemed silly. Suddenly, I wanted to notice more- I didn't want to miss watching my grandsons play while I scrolled through Instagram feed. Suddenly, I didn't want to just text Little Man, I wanted to call him on the phone and actually hear his voice. Suddenly, I didn't want to put things off- I wanted to get them done. Suddenly, I didn't want to complain about anything- waiting in long lines, being on hold for long periods of time, dealing with unruly teenagers at work, etc.- none of it mattered.  I feel like I've had a shift in my brain and a renewed perspective about what really matters in this world.

Now, how could one little boy, whom I never met, have such an affect on me? The only explanation I have is going back to that energy. That little boy left such an energy behind-in and around all of us- that the only word that comes to mind to define it, and him, is "angel".  And I know that if his short life had such an effect on me, his life will have an exponentially more powerful effect on his parents, his brother and sister, his grandparents, etc. for the rest of their lives. So, today, I have a new way to define this energy and a new definition of "angel". His name is Hunter.

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